My Vogon Poetry--get yours!

Warning! Reading this could be deadly!
It's my very own Vogon poem!
Click the title link to get one for yourself.

See, see the exhausting sky
Marvel at its big mustard depths.
Tell me, Scot do you
Wonder why the mole rat ignores you?
Why its foobly stare makes you feel ****ty.

I can tell you, it is
Worried by your florgrax facial growth
That looks like A mold.
What's more, it knows
Your plop potting shed
Smells of brussels sprout.
Everything under the big exhausting sky
Asks why, why do you even bother?
You only charm methanes.

Close To Midnight

It's closing in on midnight
And I'm doing too much thinking
Maybe I'd be better off
If I quit thinking and started drinking

It's closing in on midnight
And no-one knows I'm here
As lonely and as cold as space
Too weary to shed a tear

An open wound, abraded heart
Lost in a world of frozen lives
Suicide, dying bride
No-one even tries

It's closing in on midnight
And I am all alone
No-one even haunts my thoughts
My heart is cold as stone

A trust betrayed too many times
Leads to a soul gone dead
I'm more alone than I've ever been
Without even a vision in my head

It's closing in on midnight
I'm alone in bad company
Sometimes your dreams are your best friends
But your thoughts are your enemies

No one sees you when you're alive
Or notices your suicide
I've considered being dead
But it's ethereal loneliness instead

It's closing in on midnight
And I wonder why I was born
Selfish souls don't notice when you're alive
And when you're dead, black hearts don't mourn

No-one really knows me
And I don't expect them to care
But there are times when I truly wish
That someone would be there

It's closing in on midnight
And I've no more to say
Don't suggest meds, I'm already on 'em
This is just a fucked up day

From my pissed off bipolar head to your computer screen:
Cie

Dream of Love

You were only a dream of
Undying love
Something that could have been
But never was
You went away
And left me to dream alone
You briefly touched my troubled soul
And caused my dormant heart to stir within
But you were only a dream
A fleeting vision
A butterfly with broken wings
You left too soon
Or I woke too quickly
Now you are only a memory of
Unrequited love
Too ethereal to be real
Too painful to be an illusion
My love for you is like looking in a mirror
That casts no reflection
My dream of holding you is like swimming in air
Nothing really there to hold me up
I can only fall and crash
You were only a dream of
Eternal love
And I woke too soon.
1/15/2006

When You Can't Think Of One of your Own...

Just Go With The Poe!
This is Version I of a poem that Edgar Allan apparently wrote with his brother William Henry.

The Happiest Day
The happiest day — the happiest hour,
My sear'd and blighted heart has known,
The brightest glance of pride and power
I feel hath flown —

Of power, said I? Yes, such I ween —
But it has vanish'd — long alas!
The visions of my youth have been —
But let them pass. —

And pride! what have I now with thee?
Another brow may e'en inherit
The venom thou hast pour'd on me :
Be still my spirit.

The smile of love — soft friendship's charm —
Bright hope itself has fled at last,
'T will ne'er again my bosom warm—
'Tis ever past.

The happiest day, — the happiest hour,
Mine eyes shall see, — have ever seen, —
The brightest glance of pride and power,
I feel has been.

Edgar Allan and William Henry Poe
1827

New Years Blast from the Past

The new year was 1987, you see
The players from left to right are Dudes 1, 2 and 3
It was time to party and everyone had a task
To make this the wildest ever new years type bash
Dude 1 was the man put in charge of the sound
Dude 2 needed to make sure there were enough drinks to go 'round
Dude 3 was the fella providing the house
But needed to buy traps for the stirring-type mouse
So these wise guys three went each to complete his task
A recipe for disaster? Need you even ask?

Dude 1 chose the loudest music to play through the night
Sure to give all of the calmer neighbors a fright
Dude 2 found a punch recipe and bought a case of cheap rum
Along with wine and some beer so as to please everyone
Dude 3 bought all the mousetraps left at the store
Then went down the block to score a few dozen more
One and three set up the speakers and went to buy food
Leaving the mixing of the egg nog to the number 2 dude

Dude 2 mixed up the nog and thought it just a tad mild
Which wouldn't do at a party where things would get wild
So he dumped another bottle of rum in the mix
But it still didn't seem to have enough kick
If two bottles weren't enough, he thought he'd better add four
Took a few swigs for good measure and threw the empty jugs on the floor
When his two friends came back, he was well on the path
To getting into the spirit of the new year's eve bash

The party got going and it was rowdy and loud
People just driving by stopped to join with the crowd
When midnight came round the clock bell tolled in the town
But it was well past drowned out from the noise going down
Things kept on rockin' and showed no signs of stoppin'
Till the cops came to the door and started loudly to knockin'

The three hosts of the party staggered out on the stoop
The cops couldn't help but chuckle at this unruly group
"Say guys," the one said, "could you turn down the tunes?
You're playing it so loud we're getting complaints from the moon!"
"Fush off!" said Dude 1, who'd had well past too much.
"Either come in and get wasted, or take off in a rush."
"Wow, look at the moons," Dude two slurred drunkenly.
"There ain't just one there no more, I shink I see two or three."
"Man, you are so wasted," Dude 3 said on cue
"You reek so of rum that I can see three of you!"

The cops finally convinced them to turn the stereo down
'Cause they really didn't want to bother to take them downtown
"They'll just puke in the jail," one cop said to the other.
"And I'm really not in the mood to call anyone's mother.
Besides, come tomorrow, they'll pay for their folly
So as long as they're quiet, might as well let 'em be jolly.
So fellas, don't do anything that I wouldn't do
As it is, come tomorrow, it will suck to be you!"

That cop must have been psychic, for come the next day
The Hangover Piper was making the partiers pay
For overindulging in too much libation
Their train had pulled into Crapulence Station
Dude One lay in the corner whimpering like a sad dog
Dude Two lay on the bed feeling like he'd been beat with a clog
Dude Three lay in the closet to drown out the noise
Of the groaning and moaning from the other two boys

"My mouth tastes like I've been chewing on somebody's shoe,"
Dude One griped as he opened the curtains to let light in the room
"God damn, will you close 'em, my eyes are on fire!"
Dude Two screamed with the voice of a sunstruck vampire
"Could you guys shut up, you're hurting my brain,"
Dude three cried from the closet, his voice full of pain.

A mere moment later there was a knock at the door
Dude One opened it up to find a note on the floor
It was written in a scribbly, scratchity way
He had to look at it twice to see what it had to say
"A memo from the mice," is what the note read
"Your dumb traps didn't work--we just hid under the bed.
We had a party of our own with the leftover grog
Tell that tall blond friend of yours he makes a good nog.
Next time save the money you spent on the traps
And buy some more cheese and other good crap.
Make peace with us and we won't piss in your beer.
Look forward to partying again the same time next year!"

So to all who read this I hope your new year's eve was the tops
And that you didn't drink and drive, 'cause then you'll spend new year's day with the cops!

Peace to y'all
And apologies to the guys in the photo.
It's just that they kinda look like they fell under the spout of a beer keg before their photo shoot started! And it was good beer, so they couldn't let it go to waste. I fully understand! It's happened to me before. But we won't talk about that right now!
Hopefully they'd be happy that they inspired such righteous rhyme.
'Twas wrought with much love as I matched words and time!

Happy New Year to all,
from
Ms. Cheese 2006