New Years Blast from the Past

The new year was 1987, you see
The players from left to right are Dudes 1, 2 and 3
It was time to party and everyone had a task
To make this the wildest ever new years type bash
Dude 1 was the man put in charge of the sound
Dude 2 needed to make sure there were enough drinks to go 'round
Dude 3 was the fella providing the house
But needed to buy traps for the stirring-type mouse
So these wise guys three went each to complete his task
A recipe for disaster? Need you even ask?

Dude 1 chose the loudest music to play through the night
Sure to give all of the calmer neighbors a fright
Dude 2 found a punch recipe and bought a case of cheap rum
Along with wine and some beer so as to please everyone
Dude 3 bought all the mousetraps left at the store
Then went down the block to score a few dozen more
One and three set up the speakers and went to buy food
Leaving the mixing of the egg nog to the number 2 dude

Dude 2 mixed up the nog and thought it just a tad mild
Which wouldn't do at a party where things would get wild
So he dumped another bottle of rum in the mix
But it still didn't seem to have enough kick
If two bottles weren't enough, he thought he'd better add four
Took a few swigs for good measure and threw the empty jugs on the floor
When his two friends came back, he was well on the path
To getting into the spirit of the new year's eve bash

The party got going and it was rowdy and loud
People just driving by stopped to join with the crowd
When midnight came round the clock bell tolled in the town
But it was well past drowned out from the noise going down
Things kept on rockin' and showed no signs of stoppin'
Till the cops came to the door and started loudly to knockin'

The three hosts of the party staggered out on the stoop
The cops couldn't help but chuckle at this unruly group
"Say guys," the one said, "could you turn down the tunes?
You're playing it so loud we're getting complaints from the moon!"
"Fush off!" said Dude 1, who'd had well past too much.
"Either come in and get wasted, or take off in a rush."
"Wow, look at the moons," Dude two slurred drunkenly.
"There ain't just one there no more, I shink I see two or three."
"Man, you are so wasted," Dude 3 said on cue
"You reek so of rum that I can see three of you!"

The cops finally convinced them to turn the stereo down
'Cause they really didn't want to bother to take them downtown
"They'll just puke in the jail," one cop said to the other.
"And I'm really not in the mood to call anyone's mother.
Besides, come tomorrow, they'll pay for their folly
So as long as they're quiet, might as well let 'em be jolly.
So fellas, don't do anything that I wouldn't do
As it is, come tomorrow, it will suck to be you!"

That cop must have been psychic, for come the next day
The Hangover Piper was making the partiers pay
For overindulging in too much libation
Their train had pulled into Crapulence Station
Dude One lay in the corner whimpering like a sad dog
Dude Two lay on the bed feeling like he'd been beat with a clog
Dude Three lay in the closet to drown out the noise
Of the groaning and moaning from the other two boys

"My mouth tastes like I've been chewing on somebody's shoe,"
Dude One griped as he opened the curtains to let light in the room
"God damn, will you close 'em, my eyes are on fire!"
Dude Two screamed with the voice of a sunstruck vampire
"Could you guys shut up, you're hurting my brain,"
Dude three cried from the closet, his voice full of pain.

A mere moment later there was a knock at the door
Dude One opened it up to find a note on the floor
It was written in a scribbly, scratchity way
He had to look at it twice to see what it had to say
"A memo from the mice," is what the note read
"Your dumb traps didn't work--we just hid under the bed.
We had a party of our own with the leftover grog
Tell that tall blond friend of yours he makes a good nog.
Next time save the money you spent on the traps
And buy some more cheese and other good crap.
Make peace with us and we won't piss in your beer.
Look forward to partying again the same time next year!"

So to all who read this I hope your new year's eve was the tops
And that you didn't drink and drive, 'cause then you'll spend new year's day with the cops!

Peace to y'all
And apologies to the guys in the photo.
It's just that they kinda look like they fell under the spout of a beer keg before their photo shoot started! And it was good beer, so they couldn't let it go to waste. I fully understand! It's happened to me before. But we won't talk about that right now!
Hopefully they'd be happy that they inspired such righteous rhyme.
'Twas wrought with much love as I matched words and time!

Happy New Year to all,
from
Ms. Cheese 2006